Well I admit it, there are many things I have done in my business that I wish I could wave my magic wand and go back and re-do! So rather than moaning about my losses and experiences, I have chosen to dissect and truly understand the root of my choices. What was it that influenced my decisions (or lack there of).
A few common themes come to mind:
Fear is not a what you should be operating under the influence of when you are making decisions, yet so many of us do so. Fear’s job is to keep you where you are at, because change and the unknown is so scary. Here’s the interesting part- we know we are ready to grow and make a change when it becomes uncomfortable to stay where we are at, yet fear offers up all sorts of excuses to keep you right where you are. Anais Nin’s quote captures this beautifully, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”. In this place of internal struggle you will always be longing for something more, but creating false beliefs to keep you stuck exactly where you are. It feels terrible, yet so many people do this. How to they squelch back their desire to grow more into their potential?
Yup, we make all sort of excuses at to why we cannot make the changes we want to make. Whether it’s money, time, lack of resources, knowledge, all the excuses made keep us right where we are, and although it may be uncomfortable, it’s familiar. I find excuses pop up into my life when I am taking actions towards exposing myself to more people. Those gremlins pop up that encourage me to play it small and stay safe. they use the excuse of “what will others think, who do I think I am, what if I fail, what if it works-then what, I don’t have the time, it doesn’t feel right, I can’t commit, I don’t have the experience, I don’t have the money, etc”. Yes, all those thoughts pop up when I step forward into something bigger. So I acknowledge these thoughts and feelings and continue to action.
I find that when I am scared I do the push-me-pull-you (remember that creature from Dr. Dolittle). It was a two headed llama, with a head on each end, so it never really went anywhere. I find I take a step forward, then step backwards, getting me no where. However, the times I have made BIG bold changes is when I leaped forward and did whatever it took to make it happen- with no excuses! When I make a decision and commit to it amazing things always happen- I bet you have had a similar experience?
Here is a simple way to re-frame excuses and inactivity to commitment and action:
I need this, but _____ fill in with excuse vs. I need this, how do I get it ___ fill in with action.
Laura Dessauer, EdD, ATR-BC, LCAT, LMHC is the founder of Business Success for Therapists. Laura, the winner of the Small Business of the Year Award (SCORE), developed a system with specific steps on how to fill your practice now by attracting ideal high paying clients. If you want to know the 7 Simple Steps to attract more clients, more money, and more time to create a successful therapy business you love go [http://businesssuccessfortherapists.com] and the download the FREE audio seminar series!